THE PATHWAY TO COMMUNICATION
MAGIC
section 1 ........... the giving and receiving of stars or blackholes
Simply stated there are 3 forces that surround our life from the day we are born to the day we die.
They are positive, neutral, and negative.
Very similar to a car that has forward gears, neutral gears, and reverse gears.
Think of the forward gears as stars , that are interlinked to get us to a point in our journey that we wish to be at.
In the neutral mode we are neither moving forward, or back, we are in fact just idling through life.
When we engage the reverse gear we are moving backwards to places that we have already been, or in other words not progressing.
As you can clearly see that we have these 3 forces, impacting on all parts of our life, there is one other thing to contemplate.
Seeing that everyone has these same forces acting on everything they say and do, and are not special to just one person, but are common to all.
Which ones are we sharing. The positive forward stars, the neutral no motion, or the negative blackholes.
Or maybe another way to consider it is would you drive down a freeway, in reverse? I don't think so for you would surely be expecting an accident.
Would we drive down the freeway in neutral ? Again i very much doubt it, because you wouldn't be moving, just standing in one place,
watching all the traffic go by. So that leads me to the conclusion that we would be in the forward star gear, just like everyone else .
After all do we all want to get to where we are going..................yes we do.
section 2.........understanding the aura
Having understood the concept mentioned in the last section, what then is the aura. Can you see an aura.........yes you can .......
Think of someone you know who is positive and upbeat and a joy to be around, what aura do you think they exude.
Or likewise someone who is down and always negative which aura do you think they exude.
Loosely defined it is the inner glow, the spirit working within us, and again it is something we all have as well.
It is also something that we gain as much from others as we do ourselves. By the giving of forward positive stars as well as the receiving of the same.
How do we make the aura grow ? by simply adding a fuel of positive stars.
Likewise we can affect the aura by giving nothing as the case of neutral, or giving a bad mix of blackholes that will eventually damage the aura.
Another way to think of the aura is the fuel to make the car go. If you dont add fuel to the car, it wont matter what gear you have it in
for eventually the car will stop .
section 3.........defining a problem
In this section I am going to define what a problem is : It can be an action, a saying, a thought, a gesture etc, but it can never be a person.
Take for this example: How many times do we hear "Oh i dont like so and so cos they did this". Or maybe this person really gets under my skin.
Or even the famous as i call it ( the chain letter syndrome ) where someone says to another,"did you hear what so and so did"
and to go even further ive got the goods to prove it. What most people forget is its the action that is wrong,
but 9 times out of ten times we define the action as the person.
What we do by doing so is put two wrongs together, and as i have stated many times before, two wrongs never make a right.
So the correct method is to define the problem not the person.
section 4.........who owns the problem
Next I am going to define ownership of a problem, ownership comes in three forms ......I..........you........we
Sample: Greg has been saying bad things about Sara......Who has the problem ? Sara has the problem,
Her problem being with the actions of Greg, not with Greg the person. Greg also has a problem but it is a different problem.
his is one of filling someone else's aura with blackholes. It is always imperative that you define the problem,before dealing with the problem.
For how can you deal with a problem before you know who owns it. It is also wise to remember that many problems start between 2 people,
then filter out. So what may begin as an i have a problem may quickly become we have a problem, if others choose to become involved.
When choosing to do so the other parties then take ownership of the problem. Remember this:
I have a problem .......Something that is causing me a problem, you have a problem........ someone may be causing you to have and i have a
problem and may never know unless you tell them so.
In this case always make sure you focus on the action etc not the person,
We have a problem.........taking ownership of anothers problem, or understanding that a problem may have a group of owners
section 5........ 3 core elements.
I have called this section thus, because as we have first studied there were three forms of movement ......stars neutral and blackholes
and there are three forms of who owns a problem, so too are there 3 core elements.
They are: submissive............pro active..............aggressive
To be submissive is to always deny ones own standing without question forsaking your own beliefs.
To be pro active is to work towards mutual roles while always looking toward the win win situation for all.
To be agressive is to demand or override or put down without a thought for the other party.
We should all attempt to be in a pro active stance within our lives so we accept the imput of others and understand that working together
we achieve much more than ever working alone. Work to give and receive stars as much as we can.
section 6........using the tools of communication magic.
This is a really fun issue this: How many times have u seen where you get a group of people in a line and tell the first person something
and by the time you get to the other end of the line the story has totally changed...............why this happens, because we forgot a major tool :
the art of listening and i mean the true art of listening how many times may someone tell you something and you
prempt what they are going to say next because you have made a judgement by what they have already said.
Its quite funny actually that God gave us all these features to communicate ie:
speaking / listening / understanding / thought/ touch / sight, etc but very few of us use any of them to their full potential.
when speaking have we thought and understood the possible effects of what we are about to say on others.
For example are we spreading stars or blackholes
when listening do we listen with full attention given to the speaker without having to make comment.
when understanding or trying to decipher what someone is saying to us do we ask them to clarify if we dont understand.
Also i would like to point out that seeing is not always believing, many times we live to find out that things are not always as they seem.
the best advice i can give is this: when listening ...........listen, when speaking ...........think when deciphering..........ask
when seeing ................look
A good guide is to speak/ listen ........ask questions .......clarify......confirm and do so while always trying to give out and receive stars
section 7.........turning negatives into positives
Ok at this point hands up all those that love receiving a negative. what no hands ...................wow
Then why is it we consider that others would like to receive our negatives when we dont ?
The simple truth is everyone loves a positive so why should we give someone anything else than what they love.
It is also true we reap what we sow and if we sow blackholes we will surely become lost in them.
If we shower the world in stars we will shine forever.
And lastly on this subject if someone hands you a blackhole return the favour with a star.
It may just turn their day around.
section 8 ........the win win solution
The objective of any conflict or disruption should be that we seek a win / win outcome.
It seems that the fact that there is a winner seems to lead to the fact that there must be a loser.
There is no further statement from the truth.
Do you like to lose? .......does anyone like to lose? Does someone have to be right ............and therefore someone be wrong?
Instead of looking for ourselves to win , we should be searching and working towards a win /win situation for all parties.
Ask yourself this if you yourself like to win, why would you assume that the other party likes to lose.
I can assure you they dont. so a good case senario is to look how the other side would see it.
Always strive for a win for others, as well as yourself
section 9........our lives and communication magic
Finally the above sections are just a small sample of how we may become better communicators.
So that we may all move forward with the same objective in mind, that of giving and receiving of stars.
I really believe that if you use the above mentioned formula,
you will make a difference in someones life Today. Tommorrow and Forever.
One final point to think about if you let the above pathway become a way of life, instead of just something you should do,
you will be amazed just how much it will not only change the way others look and deal with you,
but how much you will change also when you find the magic...............of communication
written by kaka iti